When we reach that moment that all of the kids are graduated and gone on with their own lives, “what now” is the question that’s asked of many mothers. It’s like, what do I do with myself? I have left a marriage that I just couldn’t find happiness in, my kids have become mothers and fathers, and it’s MY TIME. Really? My time? You have got to be kidding, it’s really “my time”? It is one of the hardest things that I have been able to embrace. What the heck do I do with myself now? I guess since I’m tired of all of this hair, I reckon I’ll cut it off and go blonde. All of those beautiful Pinterest pics are giving me life. The natural TWA (Teeny Weeny Afros) are giving me life. Oh, not to mention the tapered, full curls in the top, absolute LIFE! I was so sure that this would work for me right off the bat. So, bam, I’m doing it. This long thick stuff is too much work anyway. I’m getting too seasoned in my life to wet this stuff every morning and try to figure it out. I do not have the time to roll this every Sunday and wear the curls for about three days and they’re gone. I am done, it’s the summer and besides I am walking everyday to keep myself in shape, hair is the last thing I want to be dealing with. I definitely am not in a place (never was) where I want to pay somebody regularly to maintain what I believe I can do myself. (I may consider it though, lol) These were the sentiments to why I chose to go bald. “Wash and freaking go“ is what I’m aiming for. Little did I know, this was going to be ANOTHER process. I didn’t realize that half of these pictures were professionally twisted and some were probably big chops that went through the whole process to get to that finished place. Deep breaths, many sighs and woosahs. My sweet guy friend always knows just what to say after I said “I should have thought this through”. He makes me feel so much better, “sometimes you can think it through and there would still be issues”. Best friend ever! You’re so right Sean, which brings me to my next point, “Just Do It”. Don’t be scared, work through it and trust the process; you can make it through anything Carla D and you WILL make it through this.
Y’all, when I left that shop, I was naively confident that I had done something. Woke up the next morning and my hair was breaking and I was panicking. I called on the one and only, Angela “Scissorhands“ Craig (Master Cosmetologist) and she didn’t hesitate to educate me on my next steps. The Aphoghee 2 in 1 Protein Treatment, Balancing Moisturizer and the Purple Shampoo got me through. Those steps got me to the next phase, but Lord Jesus, I still have a ways to go.
I so wanted the curls that I “thought” I lost in the process to come back, but what I discovered, is that the crown of my head wasn’t quite finish transforming from perm to natural. So what now? Do I shave it all off and get to the root and do the “big chop” anyway or do I just simply finish this process in spite of the interruption? Nope. How about, just finish the process. You’ve come this “wavy/curly” far and it did’t stop the growth; so keep it moving. Embrace the color, or lack there of and continue the journey happily. Because Lady, you still have a lot of living to do. Despite what you think was a big mistake, you can make the best of it; you are SUPERNATURALLY HUMAN. That’s what we do; we bounce back.
So hun, you are in there! You are still the Queen! You are still the King! I know the kids have their own lives, but use that energy that was for them to devote to the things you’ve always wanted to do. Queen, you’ve given him all of you and he used you; ok turn that pain into a pinnacle. King, that chick you chose would rather have her baby daddy; ok turn that disappointment into discovering the woman that’s for you.
Carla Mashell Dulaney