Likes, Misery and the Pursuit of Happiness

I was so naive to believe that I would be liked by everyone, deceived for years.  I am Ms. Carla, I like everybody and they’re supposed to like me.  I was absolutely miserable!  It’s amazing how we are tested in the process of moving forward, with what we chose to free ourselves of.  I envision this big circle and close to the end of the circle, there is what looks like a pothole, we can call it a choice.  The choice to continue forward or go backward.  About 2 months ago, things started to get hard on my job and I called my former boss and cried on her “phone/shoulder”.  Mrs. Brenda Hartzog was the best boss ever; compassionate, fair and beautiful inside and out.  I was willing to leave my boys here and sleep in my car, I just wanted to go back to what was comfortable, and where I knew the love for Mrs. Carla was.  Just like a mama, she encouraged me to keep going, but also letting me know that the door was always open.  I quickly realized the place I was being prepared for, I had to adjust to confronting and speaking up for what I believed in, even when it meant I wouldn’t be liked.  About a month after that, I visited home and started to get these feelings.  And on top of the feelings, I was getting texts and messages asking if I was coming back to my position as Registrar; that just made feel all kinds of special.  I started to ask God, “is this the sign that I am supposed to be back home”?  “No ma’am Mrs. Carla, no ma’am”.  It was imperative that I start to reflect on why I came here in the first place.  First and foremost, my daughters needed to see a woman take a stand for her own happiness and my sons deserved better opportunities.  “Ms. Carla” I said to myself, “you still have trailblazing to do, and girl you are the happiest you have been in a long time”!  I am quite sure that I will face that test again, but being liked is no longer my Modus Operandi (MO).

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