“Our core anxiety that we are not good enough is resolved from the beginning and we can stop all our climbing, contending, criticizing and competing”. (Richard Rohr, Immortal Diamond)
To be a giver is a gift from the ultimate giver! But, to those of us who are or was once blinded by “I am always being taken advantage of” can pose a problem; a victim’s mentality problem. Which most likely will cause you to give too much to compensate for something or cause you to never give. I was that one who selfishly gave because I wanted to be accepted. I needed your “thank you” because I was EMPTY. Your thank you would temporarily fill me up, and I would wait for God to be proud of me. Then I would run out of fuel again, back at church doing cartwheels and entertaining like a jester to wait on a “thank you” and a “well done my good and faithful servant” from God. Temporarily filled up and eventually running on empty again. The folly had to stop. The folly MUST stop. We were created from the loins of a PERFECT CREATOR, and until we acknowledge that great fact; the better off we will be. Yes, we live in an imperfect world that yearns and hungers for a “church” that operates from a place of wholeness and completeness. Wholeness and Completeness are not about “lack of sin” but it is about ceasing the search for what God has already done. Your value and worth are already done! He is the potter and we are the clay; the vessels are complete. He is the Shepherd we shall not want. We will stop taking from one another out of the neediness to look good, feel good or appear to be good. But, we will share and give freely to one another with no fear. There is no fear in love; perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18. I am no longer afraid to share my greatest shame; in order for my sisters and brothers to be shameless.